Nikhil Dev

Some of the facts that make me feel. This is called having a great image of yourself within you.

* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures I allowed to live.
* Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with me.
* I counted to infinity - twice.
* When do a  pushup, I am not lifting myself up, I am pushing the Earth down.
* I am  is so fast, I can run around the world and punch myself in the back of the head.
* I  don’t wear a watch, I decide what time it is. (LOL)
* I  gave Mona Lisa that smile.
* I  can slam a revolving door.
* There are no races, only countries of people I have beaten to different shades of black and blue.
* My house has no doors, only walls that I walks through.
* I can divide by zero.
* Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction,
there is no force equal in reaction to my turnaround kick.
* When taking the GRE, write “Nikhil” for every answer. You will score over 1600.
* I  have 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
* I grind my coffee with my teeth and boil the water with my rage.
* Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Nikhil Dev”
* If you Google search “Nikhil Dev getting kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
* I  can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
* I  don’t bowl strikes, I just knock down one pin and the other nine faint.
* It takes me 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until I  kicked one of the corners off.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, I live in Hyderabad.
* I once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made me blink.
* James Cameron wanted Me to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
* Thousands of years ago I  came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.