Nikhil Dev

Well, drank some whiskey with a friend of mine and it feels good.

Just laid on the bed and started thinking about only person I love , EVER. Man. It hurts bad when you think about the fact that she is not gonna be yours. But look at the positive side. She has tamed wild animal to something that people at least talk to now. I have atleast lost my reputation of being a weirdass.

I know she loves me. I am certain about it. Then there is no reason to regret about the feeling that she is acting kinda selfish towards me. I am sure she has something on her mind. Something thats worrying her. Something that she confused about, something that is she is committed to.

I always see that she is happy when I am happy, she is concerned when I dont feel good, she says take care when she knows I need her to understand me and that I cant be with her in the most wanted hours. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel important. I think this is why you call such people your better half. Cos they complete you. There are the answers to your questions, they are the conclusions to your theories(though mine in the previous post have been WRONG). I today totally agree that I love this girl and I always will. What if she cant be with me forever, she has turned me into a better person.

I am thankful to her for this. The only person I have ever loved so much. She is the kind of girl I want to spend the REST of my fuckin life with.

I still remember kissing her for the first time. It was MAGICAL. It instantly made the moment feel magical. So sweet. She trusted in me and I never let her down. I remember discussions between me an Ajit about Osho’s preachings on sex. That making love and having sex was different. I now certify it from my side. They actually ARE different. You can feel so satisified just by holding her in your arms for the rest of the night. Showing that you care about her and are concerned. Expressing that though you have been an assole, pleading her to ignore it and still take you. Its just something that has to be experienced.

I just hope that God has an internet connection and read this post of mine. There is just this faint hope of mine that he makes things right for me. I admit the stupidity in me. But forgiveness is devine. I just hope …..

God,…………….. I truly love her……………..       Good god…………..     I need her. Let her be my wife.

How does it feel when you love someone so very much that you think only about her when you are drunk, suddenly starts ignoring you. As if you dint exist and not important anymore. Like it really doesn’t matter if you are alive or dead. These things are something always on my mind. When the only one I ever loved so much treats me like the most useless shit. I mean where has all that affection gone. I agree I was an assole sometimes but that was reasons that I am she knows and I can justify. But why is it that without no reason this sudden change happens.

I still remember Manish once telling me. That someone had told him that there is nothing called love but just lust. The fact is that people make these conclusion after experience. If not, then why do you have so many guys thinking the same. Thats cos we’ve been through shit and we know how it feels. Dont ever say that we have changed. We’ve said the same thing centuries and would still stick to the same.

Maybe I was overexpectant and maybe just too stupid and lost in love to not get the point early on. I took the fall and it hurts really bad. This is something that cannot feel.

Anyway, I think I need to start accepting the well proven fact over centuries. THERE IS NOTHING CALLED LOVE. ITS JUST LUST

There are somethings which moght sound pretty boring in the first(boring is a disgusting word to use here) but might just touch your heart in the end. Just today I got an email forward that was really long and at first I thought I would not want to read it. But as it was quite colorful, I thought I might want to give it a try. This is how it goes :-

“Dear Editors of HT, TOI, IndianExpress and TheHindu, I got the mail below from a friend of mine and following the unwritten code of conduct, I am forwarding it to my friends but all efforts of people who have been forwarding this mail would go waste if this mail doesn’t reach YOU……

Something to think about..!!
Shame on Indian Media??? Really what a shame…

By the time u guys read this news, the body of Major Manish Pitambare, who was shot dead at Anantnag, would have been cremated with full military honors.

On Tuesday, this news swept across all the news channels ‘Sanjay Dutt relieved by court’. ‘Sirf Munna not a bhai’ ‘13 saal ka vanvaas khatam’ ‘although found guilty for possession of armory, Sanjay can breath sigh of relief as all the TADA charges against him are withdrawn’ Then many personalities like Salman Khan said ‘He is a good person. We knew he will come out clean’. Mr Big B said “Dutt’s family and our family have relations for years he’s a good kid. He is like elder brother to Abhishek”. His sister Priya Dutt said “we can sleep well tonight. It’s a great relief”

In other news, Parliament was mad at Indian team for performing bad; Greg Chappell said something; Shah Rukh Khan replaces Amitabh in KBC and other such stuff. But most of the emphasis was given on Sanjay Dutt’s “phoenix like” comeback from the ashes of terrorist charges. Surfing through the channels, one news on BBC startled me. It read “Hisbul Mujahidin’s most wanted terrorist ‘Sohel Faisal’ killed in Anantnag , India . Indian Major leading the operation lost his life in the process. Four others are injured.

It was past midnight , I started visiting the stupid Indian channels, but Sanjay Dutt was still ruling. They were telling how Sanjay pleaded to the court saying ‘I’m the sole bread earner for my family’, ‘I have a daughter who is studying in US’ and so on. Then they showed how Sanjay was not wearing his lucky blue shirt while he was hearing the verdict and also how he went to every temple and prayed for the last few months. A suspect in Mumbai bomb blasts, convicted under armory act…was being transformed into a hero.

Sure Sanjay Dutt has a daughter; Sure he did not do any terrorist activity. Possessing an AK47 is considered too elementary in terrorist community and also one who possesses an AK47 has a right to possess a pistol so that again is not such a big crime; Sure Sanjay Dutt went to all the temples;
Sure he did a lot of Gandhigiri but then…….. …

Major Manish H Pitambare got the information from his sources about the terrorists’ whereabouts. Wasting no time he attacked the camp, killed Hisbul Mujahidin’s supremo and in the process lost his life to the bullets fired from an AK47. Just like Sunjay Dutt he is survived by a wife and daughter who’s only 18 months old.

Major Manish never said ‘I have a daughter’ before he took the decision to attack the terrorists in the darkest of nights. He never thought about having a family and he being the bread earner. No news channel covered this since they were too busy hyping a former drug addict, a suspect who’s linked to bomb blasts which killed hundreds. Their aim was to show how he defied the TADA charges and they were so successful that his conviction in possession of armory had no meaning. They also concluded that his parents in heaven must be happy and proud of him.

Parents of Major Manish are still living and they have to live rest of their lives without their beloved son. His daughter won’t ever see her daddy again.

So guys, please forward this message around so that the media knows which news to give importance, as it is a shame for us since this Army Major’s death news was given by a foreign TV channel!!! Where they know worth of Patriotism.”

Now I dont understand, in what aspect can they ever call themselves MEDIA. What do you people think about all this? (comments please)

After a lot of searching, this is where the original article started from.

A really hilarious scrap from one of my friend

If titanic was produced in INDIA….

1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship.

2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain.

3) The movie would be called “Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya”.

4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die on the first dip.

5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine’s father to teach the hero a lesson.

6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.

7) Himesh Reshammiya could not use his nose to sing as his nose would be running due to the cold weather condition.

And last but not least More Than Half of the rescue boats would be reserved for SC/ST/OBC.

Of late there was thing thought that got to my mind about who is God. I was a believer but there is this something in me that says that it is much more complex to what we term God as. There is this something that be believe in blindly but has anyone ever tried to find out what might be behind this. We give in some spiritual reasoning to God and that is accepted by all cos it takes the least effort to accept such things. I’ve tried to reason this out myself. I would term this as the most complex formula or a form energy that exists everywhere. If we look at it scientifically, every thought that we think generates and electromagnetic sequence of signals. Now this complex that we term God as is what I feel is most influenced by the signals giving it kind of an intelligence. I have think over this again and again and it would take sometime to refine my perception of God. I believe in science so much that I would just not accept things just like that.