Nikhil Dev

% cat “food in cans”
cat: can’t open food in cans

% nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.

% “How would you rate Quayle’s incompetence?
Unmatched “.

% Unmatched “.
Unmatched “.

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% ^How did the sex change operation go?^
Modifier failed.

% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many (’s.

% make love
Make: Don’t know how to make love. Stop.

% sleep with me
bad character

% got a light?
No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.

% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ drink matter
matter: cannot create

With respect from http://frankmash.blogspot.com/2006/03/linux-commands-funny-linux-commands.html

Awrite. Hyderabad’s real estate prices are fucking bad. An appartment that used to cost 5 lakhs about 3 years back is now selling for 20 lakhs. And the worst part is that there are takers. The government has absolutely no control on these. The builder can deman whatever they want. Banks have interest rates for home loans which leave you with money not enough to buy even an underwear. How are people like me supposed to survive?

Anyway, looks like I need a better pay. That is the only solution and that is what I have to start thinking about which puts me in the same situation as I was about 6 months back.

I am back to my promotion of Linux for users. I have been working on a Linux box at office for more than a month and have never restarted the machine till now. The amazing thing is that it is as good as it was when I got it. I have worked with Dell in the Technical Support division and have been a rescue agent for friends for quite some time now. People have always complained to me about how slow their machines have become and how their brothers/sisters have screwed it up by installing some software. Well, its time that people realize that there is one permanent solution for this and this is what I will be talking about. The solution is simple. Switch to Linux. Reasons? Simple 5.

1. Security - Undoubtedly, the most secure computing environment you can work on. There is no need of an anti-virus or an anti-spyware. And it takes balls of steel to remotely screw a Linux machine. How cool is that.

2. Cost - The damn OS costs you nothing and runs on the most basic machines(even more than 5 years old ones). Almost all the software that you run on Linuxis for free and there is a replacement for almost all windows software that I will mention.

3. Hardware - I have tried Ubuntu on my 4 year old desktop and all the hardware is supported. And there is tons of support for forums online that you can use to fix things.

4. Administration - It requires hardly any administration. Just the basic installation and you are all set. All that a bummer might want to know is to click the button to update the libraries.

5. Dell - This is one move that I really appreciate from Dell. They are selling computer that run out of the box with all hardware supported.

One last thing which is my favourite is the software installation. I simply love my apt. Upgrading packages, adding repo’s and removing software has never been easier. It always makes sure that you have the latest software.

Now talking about the famous replacement that can help you with the most common tasks.

Windows: Internet Explorer
Linux: Mozilla Firefox

Windows: MS Outlook
Linux: Mozilla Thunderbird or Evolution

Windows: Solitaire
Linux: AisleRiot Solitaire

Windows: ITunes
Linux: Banshee or Amarok(My Favourite. checkout the auto retreival of album art. it kicks ass)

Windows: MS Word
Linux: OpenOffice.org

A final word. It will take some effort to get around the new environment. But trust me, the effort and patience is worth it. SWITCH.

I thought that the open source revolution might not catch up in India that soon(although all windows softwares for us are free ;), but I am impressed with the way this one case has adopted the open source revolution.

The article states that the high court of Uttar Pradesh has adopted the implementation of a Web Server and an Email server which is maintained by the Hight Court staff. This is something that is done for the first time in India.

 Read the complete article.

These days, I am acting like an ambassador to have people switch to Linux from their crappy Windows machines. So what is it that Linux has and Windows does not ?

1. A useful terminal emulator. So what if it’s only useful for developers: I’m a developer. I like a terminal with capable cut-and-paste, tabs, and resizing.
2. All-in-one application sources. Man, I love my apt. Finding and downloading applications for Windows is a crap-shoot in almost every way. I find this especially handy when building new systems: it takes far longer to build, update, and add needed applications on a Windows system than on most Linux systems.
3. Cut-and-paste, and focus handling. Middle-click cut-and-paste is even more useful than middle-clicking a URL to a new tab, and XWindows does scroll-wheel window focusing right (scrolls the window under the cursor).
4. Frequent, painless patches and new stuff, all the time. I’ve had a 3d desktop (compiz) and funky search (deskbar) for more than a year now (and I avoid the bleeding edge).
5. Multi-desktops. Using a single desktop now is a lot like working at a grade-school desk: it’s just too small to be useful.
6. Good, free tools. Like vim (or emacs). I know they’re old and crusty, but they both live and breathe text editing.
7. No reboots. I rarely have to reboot a Linux system when patching. Windows is getting better about reboots, but they’re still too frequent.
8. Open formats and protocols. My stuff (and my network) is mine, locking my stuff in proprietary, costly formats doesn’t work for me.
9. No need for paranoia. I don’t like the anti-malware tax: the cost, the CPU cycles, and the wasted fear. Signed application bundles are a big part of how Linux gets this right: you don’t have to fear installing new stuff (the rest is in frequent patching and limiting possible damage).
10. Respect. Don’t tell me what or how to do it: give me choices. And don’t treat me like a criminal, because I’m not.

Scraped with respect from warpedvisions.org